I survived my first semester as a teacher!

When I meet someone and they ask me what I do, it still feels like I'm lying when I say "I'm a teacher."  But it doesn't feel as strange to say as it felt a few months ago, and I feel like I'm starting to accept that this is my career.  I went to college to be an art teacher, I accepted the TFA position hoping to be a second or third grade teacher, and I somehow got thrown into a tenth grade special education position that focuses mostly on algebra.  Back in June, when I was first offered the job, I was terrified, and a little disappointed because it wasn't what I had wanted or planned, but I was just so relieved to have a job.  Seven months later, I'm so thankful things didn't turn out the way I planned.  I would have never known how challenging and rewarding it could be to teach sixteen and seventeen year olds with learning disabilities.  I don't see them as different from any other teenager in the school, and although they have one more obstacle to face than all of the other students, I've seen my students work harder and earn better grades than many of the other students in the school.  I have loved getting to know them as people and learning about their hopes and dreams, and I am so excited to help them work towards these goals over the next three years.  It's going to be a long, difficult road, but I am so excited to guide them as they choose colleges, write them recommendation letters and watch them graduate and go off to college.

Semester two starts on Tuesday, and I'll have a few new students and new challenges for sure.  I'm starting off the semester by diagnosing their reading levels, which I've recently realized are terrifyingly low, so my goal is to fit in more reading and writing skills with them in between all the Regents prep we will be doing for Algebra and Global!

Silence

The last time I updated was that really really horrible day last week, that left me crying by myself in my classroom during my prep period.

The next day, I was a drill sergeant.  I was waiting outside my door before the bell rang for 7th period to start.  I refused to let my students in until they were ready to enter silently, and when they did they were greeted with the desks in neat rows, instead of the usual, friendly semi-circle arrangement.  I told them right away that I was in no mood to hear a single one of their voices, and that no one was allowed to talk today.  They were to spend the period doing their work silently, and if they had a question they had to raise their hand and I would help them.  A few of them tried to object or to explain their actions, but I cut them off before they could even get a whole word out.

They worked silently for the rest of the period, and when there were only two minutes left, I stopped scowling and said, "So what is everyone doing for their 3-day weekend?"  They looked at me in shock, not sure if they should answer, and when the bell rang JT shouted out "5, 4, 3, 2, 1..." and they all apologized at the same time!

I talked to my principal about it, because I was being pretty hard on myself that I had let a class of only 8 students get so out of control.  But she told me that I everything I did the next day was the right thing to do (down to the subtle message I sent by putting the desks in rows), and the fact that they responded in such a way (and apologized) shows that I actually do have a good control over them, and that the do respect me.  Otherwise, they would have come in and continued to act the same way without remorse.

By the way, Carolyn had her baby this morning! A girl!

  

Dreaded 7th Period

My seventh period was really horrible, mean, and disrespectful to me today.  No teaching or learning or anything productive occurred in that class.  It was really disappointing because I was on such a high after Tuesday...my co-teacher and I had our best co-taught lesson of the whole year, where I got to bring a lot of art into the geometry unit and our rough 5th period was actually having fun and learning.  Then yesterday we had a snow day, so today was bound to go downhill from there, I guess.

One of my students is now going around telling everyone "we made Ms. C cry," even though I actually didn't cry until way after they left.  15 year olds can be such jerks when they want to be.  I understand that they are stressed because finals are coming up, but today was ridiculous.  I felt especially lucky today to have such a supportive staff, because instead of sitting in my room crying by myself, I had four different teachers to go to that made me feel better.  My co teacher even suggested I write them a letter, so I did, but I'm a little nervous about how that is going to go.  This is the first time since I met my students that I am not going to be happy to see them tomorrow.

Advocate, advocate, advocate.

On Tuesday I spent almost the entire period talking about and trying to re-invest my students in the "big goals" of their class...I even had a beautiful poster made on the new poster machine at school (you can print something on computer paper and scan it and it comes out poster-size).  Here's what it looks like:

  

I talked a lot about what the word "advocate" means and different ways the students could advocate for their learning needs, whether it be asking questions or participating during class, or reminding their teachers that they are allowed to have extra time on tests.  We had what I thought was a decent discussion and moved on to work on their grade trackers.  At the beginning of the year they made color-coded line graphs where they graph their grades in each class every week...it is still my favorite thing that I have done with that class and sometimes the only thing I can get them excited to do.  They are very visual and love seeing the slopes for certain classes going up, while the negative slopes often set a little bit of a fire under them.  

Yesterday, my "Do Now" was: In your own words, what does the word advocate mean?  List three examples of how you can advocate for your own needs.

Blank stares.  From both classes.  None of them remembered what it meant.  So I spent another class discussing it with them

Today's Do Now:  In your own words, what does the word advocate mean?  List three examples of how you can advocate for your own needs.

"But Miss, that was our Do Now yesterday."   

I told them that since none of them remembered what advocate meant yesterday, which was fine, that they could do it today.

More blank stares, they forgot again!  I'm starting to see proof of what I've been told, that students won't truly comprehend a vocabulary word without at least 10 exposures to it.  Spent another 20 minutes trying to explain it...

Eighth period I sat with JT during Global, which I do every once in a while because I know he sleeps through that class 95% of the time.  I was helping him with a worksheet, and every prompt I gave him he responded with "the answer is it's time to go to sleep."  One question asked about how Enlightenment thinkers inspired the French Revolution, and I was explaining that these philosophers inspired people to stand up for their natural rights.  

I watched JT write down, "Enlightenment thinkers inspire people to ADVOCATE for their rights."  He looked at me and smiled and said, "See, you think we don't listen to you, but we do." My reaction was so absurdly over-the-top-happy that the global teacher looked at me like I was insane.

Tomorrow's Do Now?  In your own words, what does the word advocate mean?  List three examples of how you can advocate for your own needs.

"Miss, what are you taking this so seriously for? Most of us aren't gonna go to college anyway."

Carolyn's due date is January 26th, right in the middle of finals week.  All of her grades, which weren't amazing to begin with (but she was trying), have plummeted and she's been missing a lot of school for doctor's appointments.  It really hurt me to hear her say that, because she was always so positive and it just shows how discouraged she's gotten.

I also found out that the network is adding requirements for graduation.  I have a bunch of students in situations where they are already not on track to graduate in four years, I can only imagine what will happen now!

First day after vacation...

7am, I walk into my room, expecting--dreading--the disaster that I left the day before break. I am greeted instead with a gorgeous shiny room with the desks all in rows.  The custodians waxed the floors over break and were nice enough to rearrange my desks.  Seconds later I get a frantic call from my co-teacher asking me to check her room because she overslept.  I expect it to also be shiny and beautiful, but I walk in and find 30 desks shoved in the corner, all the technology unplugged, and the bookcase and filing cabinet in the center of the room.  After rushing to rearrange everything, I thought the rest of the day would be just as hectic.  Then I remembered our students, and how they use every excuse possible to stay home from school.  Apparently two weeks off wasn't enough for them!

Period 1: 8 out of 25 students showed up

Period 2:  2 out of 5 students

Period 5: 12 out of 27

Period 7: ONE STUDENT.

Needless to say, the rest of my day was pretty easy!  January is going to be rough though, because it is "winter session" at grad school.  So Mondays and Wednesdays I have class from 5:30 to 8:45 and all four Saturdays of January I have class from 9am to 4pm.  Plus online sessions, and the hour+ commute to class...not the most exciting way to start off 2011.