Whenever I realize it's been a while since I've posted, I get all overwhelmed thinking about everything that I didn't write about...so I'm just going to forget about all of that and start fresh with today. On Wednesdays the students have half-days so we can have staff meetings and workshops. Today, the two special education directors from the network were at our school (I've probably mentioned the very quirky blonde lady that my students don't really like, even though she is actually a very very sweet lady). The other director has not been around at all, and she ran a workshop about what co-teaching should look like. It made me feel completely inadequate and guilty. I don't normally "lead teach" in that class, but I'm there instead to support the students who are struggling (and this is not limited to "my" students, but to any student who is having trouble). I've never felt that to be a problem, because I can see that I am helping, and I think the students benefit from my individual attention more than they would if I tried to stand in front of the whole class and teach them Algebra that I haven't taken since I was their age! But apparently our co-teaching model is expected to look different.
The problem is, being the only 10th grade special educator, I see my students struggling in classes other than math, and I want to be there for them in all of their subjects...and I have been. After the workshop and holding in a lot of frustration (I "discussed" it with my supervisor until I realized I wouldnt be able to say anything without crying), but the other special ed teacher, Mr. B, caught me crying as we were walking back downstairs...and then so did my co-teacher! It was completely mortifying, but I have to say, I made it to November without crying, which is pretty impressive for me. They both made me feel so much better, especially my co-teacher. She is an amazing teacher, and I can tell she really appreciates me. We decided to make a little more time to plan together that way I know what's going on a little more ahead of time, but mostly I dont think too much is going to change because what we are doing is working.
As soon as I was done crying, JT bursts into my room and yells, "MS. C LOOK! They gave me a uniform! They let me back on the team! Thank you!! Wait...are you crying? Oh no, don't cry!" and gives me a big hug. The reason he thanked me was because I found out he had been suspended from the team for grades, and I noticed that he was only failing one class while other students on the team had worse grades than him. I made a big fuss about it to the coaches, and they let him back on. The basketball game they had tonight was incredible to watch, the teachers had so much fun cheering the kids on, and we won! I really truly love the school that I work at...everyone has so much spirit, and I really feel like I belong here. It's a wonderful environment to be in!
